(telephone ringing) Thank you for calling
(beep) health food. – I’ve got a wife that’s
(stammers) heavyset, I guess would be the nice
polite way to call it. (upbeat music) Yeah, what’s the best
for uh weight control? – For weight control? You know, that is
a good question. – I told her like if
peanut butters good, if you want to give
your cat an antibiotic or rub on your areolas,
but it’s not good ingest. – Right. I mean not in super
large quantities. No, ’cause it is a
super high fat content. – You guys got, you
got almond milk? – Yes. We also have hemp milk. – Oh hemp. Well, I don’t
wanna catch a high. – [Clerk] No, no, no, no. – I ain’t Rastafarian. – Yeah, so hemp is kind of like the cousin to marijuana
and you don’t get any kind of psychoactive
effects from hemp. – When I was in
Nam, one brother, he smoked the weed from
the end of a shotgun. – (laughs) That’s creative. – Oh they’ve seen bongs
made out of human skulls, so I don’t wanna go relive that. – Yeah, understandable. – You show me a CBD bottle,
I hear helicopter blades. – But you can not
get high from hemp, I promise you, it’s proven
and backed by science. – All right, ’cause
I don’t wanna be kicking the hacky sack and chasing that
dragon all afternoon. (employee laughs) – You guys do golden beets? – We don’t have golden beets. I know we have some
beetroot powder. – Yeah, I made a
beet powder smoothie, and about 10 hours
later I was on the pot doing my business, looked down, Looked like Rosemary’s
Baby in that toilet. Now that’s happened to
the best of us, right? – Yeah. – Right. So here’s my little invention, and this could
make you a real hit at the Whole Foods store. It’s a bircham beet bracelet. Give them a little, you
know like the Livestrong, Lance Armstrong bracelet? This is just a purple bracelet, you’re sitting on the commode, you look down at
your handy work, you think you’ve had
a prolapsed anus, and all of a sudden you look
at your bracelet and you go, “Oh, that’s right, I had
beets 9 to 11 hours ago.” Sweet idea! – That is, actually. – All right, let me explain
my garlic poncho to you. – Sir, I do have to
go unless you had any other questions
about stuff here, my coworker really could
use some help right now. – All right, here me out,
my pinto bean broach. – Oh my god. (crew laughing) – [Crew Member] “My
pinto bean brooch.” – [Man] That’s good.

Author Since: Mar 11, 2019